Reasons why the "Taxi of tomorrow" is shit.

"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
12/08/2014 at 16:15 • Filed to: None

Reason 1: It's got a CVT, that'll last all of 10,000 miles.

Reason 2: Not available as a hybrid. (Cab drivers don't like this evidently.)

Reason 3: It's got this horrible, "Not angry horn" that lights up an "angry light" and some wimpy little barely audible noise. Yelling "fuck you" out the window is the horn in that case.

Reason 4: Not all of them are handicap accessible. How is a handicapped person to tell which hideous yellow van he/she can get into?

Reason 5: It's got the same center of gravity of a semi and has little tiny baby wheels.

Reason 6: It's not a Crown Vic.

Reason 7: Cab drivers liked the Crown Vic because of how many parts were available, and how great the car was at serving it's purpose. This is a bulbous Japanese van that is pretty much only limited to being a cab.

Reason 8: Do "germ fighting seats" repel gonorrhea? If not, then this is a bad idea.

Reason 9: It's ugly as sin.

Reason 10: They will all be dead within a year, Did somebody say suspension?

Reason 11: This and iconic go together like "tasty, and feces."

My suggestion to Mayor What's-his-face is to get rid of this contract that makes these the only cabs, and contract Ford to dig up their stuff they left at St. Thomas and make these again.

DISCUSSION (30)

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:21

DeBlasio reject something that was the end product of a crony committee? I think, unless you can come up with something that's equally impractical but sold by a starry-eyed and daft character who propagandizes well instead, you'd stand a better chance of convincing him to string himself up with his own intestines. Just take a look at the horse-cab stuff.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:21

Reason 6: It's not a Crown Vic.

I think they are just gonna have to deal with that. Cause the Crown Vic isnt coming back. The boxy Escapes seemed to be the some of the most popular options of the confused cab segment.

For Sweden > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:22

Better idea: Hellcat Taxis.

jkm7680 > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
12/08/2014 at 16:22

The new Impala looks great as a taxi.

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/new-nyc-taxis-…

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:23

I'm still awaiting the day Ford releases a modern Crown Vic with the 5.0 under the hood. Companies and municipalities have replaced their Panthers with cars that probably won't last half the miles and won't be nearly as reliable. If there's one car I have to commend Ford on it's the Panthers. They're absolute tanks.

jkm7680 > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
12/08/2014 at 16:24

Some Police departments went through the previous gen Chargers like socks, blown engines left right and center.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > For Sweden
12/08/2014 at 16:26

If they can't go anywhere in traffic, they can at least entertain fares with burnouts in place. Also, I'm almost certain the Hellcat has a better horn.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:27

I would totally buy one of those NV200s if they made it available with a manual. It doesn't even have to be diesel, though that would be preferred. Seriously, the tiny vans that have slowly been making their way over here are great. I just don't trust their transmissions for the kind of duty that they'll endure.

ly2v8-Brian > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:28

Well it sure ain't no Checker

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:28

I'm assuming police Chargers got the 3.5 or 5.7. I wouldn't be surprised if the 3.5 blew every other week. The Hemi might be a bit better.

jkm7680 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
12/08/2014 at 16:29

I wouldn't buy one period. I hate their guts, Haha.

fhrblig > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:35

Uh, we've been running those little NV's for delivery work (we tend to average 55k per year) and we've had zero problems with the CVTs. I know it's cool to hate on them, but just hate on them for the right reasons (i.e., they're annoying as shit to drive).

jkm7680 > fhrblig
12/08/2014 at 16:36

But NYC cab drivers aren't exactly easy on their cars, and do around 100k every year.

I don't even want to drive one, it probably has more body roll than a tour bus.

fhrblig > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:40

We beat the shit out of them, too. No problems. Just underpowered and annoying. We have a few Ram Cargo vans (Caravan), and they're cheaper, more powerful, as reliable and more mpg than those NV'S.

Cé hé sin > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:41

Here we find the ideal taxi, or at least by far the most common here: a previous model Toyota Avensis. It's all you need. Yes of course it's manual and diesel.

Kinja'd!!!

mazda616 > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:44

The Kentucky State Troopers have all but completely phased out the Charger in police duty. Apparently, it was not reliable at all. They use Caprices almost exclusively now. As for taxis, why do we need new ones? Not like the Panthers will ever die. :-P

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 16:44

It's functional and very compact. It's perfect for people who need to move a bunch of crap around regularly but want something more car-like with regards to drivability and cost. It's also one of the few honest cars being made today. It's not trying to be anything that it's not. It's a dirt cheap box, and that's what I like about it. There aren't many cars like that being made anymore.

jkm7680 > mazda616
12/08/2014 at 16:45

Jeez, I know that my area Police department bought a ton of Chargers around '08 when they came out, and then promptly sold all of them within a year in favor of more Panthers.

jkm7680 > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
12/08/2014 at 16:46

Well, in this case it's trying to be a taxi. Which it isn't.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
12/08/2014 at 16:46

How is the NV impractical compared to a Crown Vic? You can put more people and things in it and get it in and out of tight spaces more easily. Not as comfortably, no, but I don't see how what is essentially a box on wheels can be less practical.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
12/08/2014 at 16:48

There's practicality there, to be sure, but I suspect the need to taxi more than two people at once is a tiny percent of the time.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
12/08/2014 at 16:49

As a revision: not so much practicality in use (any van would have done), but practicality in keeping up, keeping fueled, and any number of other things. Practicality isn't just base use.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
12/08/2014 at 16:55

It's probably larger than you think. Alot of the time, it's airport runs, so you can have families with luggage. Factor in the fact that Manhattan is basically one huge tourist trap and the yellow cabs can only operate there or at the airports, and suddenly you have a bunch of families taking a cab from Times Square to their hotel in Midtown because they can't figure how out a numerical grid works.

Thunderface > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 17:15

#6= the true reason

ranwhenparked > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 20:36

The Crown Vic worked for the same reason the Checker worked, it was basically a pickup truck masquerading as a sedan. Low tech, not fancy, but tough and very, very durable.

Unfortunately, it isn't coming back. Ford already scrapped the tooling, and the car couldn't pass current crash test regulations without expensive reengineering that made no sense to do on a 20 year old body shell.

jkm7680 > ranwhenparked
12/08/2014 at 20:38

They've already scrapped the tooling? Damn, there goes my dreams.

ranwhenparked > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 20:46

Apparently, a lot of it was pretty worn out and in need of replacement, which was actually part of Ford's reasoning behind killing the car when they did. That, and it was embarrassing how well it was still selling, given their modernized Euro-style lineup (the Crown Victoria outsold the Taurus handily until Ford decided to make the Crown Vic fleet-only).

jkm7680 > ranwhenparked
12/08/2014 at 20:53

Funny how 17,899 more cars sold in 2011 and 2012 than the previous year. They really shouldn't have killed it. The Taurus, Charger and Caprice combined are in no way filling it's shoes at all.

I feel that they're making the same mistake that Chevrolet made after they killed the 9c1 Caprice. When was the last time you saw a 9c1 Pimpala Police car? I haven't seen one with the exception of MPs and Campus Cops. They went from wildly popular cars, to not-so-much, very average cars.

What I've observed from my area specifically, is that Nobody buys the Caprice, (Except for private rent-a-cop companies), The Taurus is being scooped up more often, but isn't really catching on, Nobody really buys the Charger much either, Again I don't know why. I rarely see that SUV thing, the Ford one that's basically an Exploder. Only unmarked cars, rarely.

The Taurus is now the most popular of the modern police cars in my area, but there still aren't that many of them. The Crown Vic still is the most popular overall though.

ranwhenparked > jkm7680
12/08/2014 at 21:11

Some of the big cities bought the FWD Impalas, I know Philadelphia and New York had/have a bunch. I was told by a Philly cop that they work OK as long as you replace them after 2 or 3 years, since that's when they really start wearing out. Small departments can't afford to rotate their fleets that frequently, so Impalas were non-starters in the suburbs. You can easily run a Crown Victoria to well over 100,000 miles in fleet use with no real issues developing, so I think a lot of departments are just going to milk them for as long as they can and put off the decision on a replacement as long as possible.

The RWD Caprices weren't really held onto that long after production ceased, partly because the Crown Vic was still there as an obvious successor, and partly because their fragile transmissions made a lot of departments less sentimental over them. There were some companies that were offering to rebuild/recondition them in the late '90s/early '00s, but it was expensive and made really poor financial sense. I think the LAPD were about the only takers.

I think when push comes to shove, the Tahoe and Charger are probably going to win the most conquest sales, but the Charger is going to be a poor substitute from a longevity standpoint.

jkm7680 > ranwhenparked
12/08/2014 at 21:21

Yup, I remember DC and NY having a bunch of Impalas also. They had a V6, and from what I remember they weren't huge on space.

I know departments that are still running '98 Crown Vics though. They never die, and must have 200,000+ miles on them. My local department had a '97 in their fleet until about 5 years ago.

The new Caprice also doesn't have a column shifter, meaning less room for equipment and the interior doesn't look great.

I wonder if departments are still using the beached whales somewhere? I've seen a Lumiturd patrolling around in the past few years though.